Interrupting Joy

I didn't know that my next blog would come so soon. But I guess that's how God works... 


I have a couple of fears that you may not be aware of. First, I don't like to be alone. I am (according to Myers-Briggs) a born extravert. Secondly, I don't like to sing, let alone sing in front of people, let alone listen to myself sing. But somehow, tonight, both of those fears were destroyed, or I'm one step closer to destroying them. 


At 3rd Wednesday at RockHARBOR (a prayer and worship night at the church I attend) I had planned on sitting with people that I knew and to make a long story short that didn't happen. Instead I was forced to sit there and focus on the Lord solely. Not only did I experience the Lord's presence but I also got to pray with and for people that I wouldn't have been able to had I been sitting with my friends! What a blessing it is to bless others!


Before we sang the last worship song of the night, we were reminded as a group, that God calls us His children and to have faith like children. We were challenged as a body to return to the joy of God's great news- that His Son, Jesus, sacrificed His life for us. Challenge accepted. Returning to the joy and hope that is restored in Jesus washed over me like pouring down rain in a drought. 


In the spirit of returning to joy and in the Spirit of God I was singing my heart out, like no one else was there but God Himself. I know this is how we're to worship every time, but I must confess that I am not a regular partaker in the solely singing to God action. 


But wait, it gets better! Remember how I told you that I didn't like the sound of my own singing voice? Well enter me. By myself. In my car. Radio off. Completely overcome with joy. And I cannot stop singing. I literally was shouting at the top of my lungs singing to God and laughing hysterically at the thought that God finds great joy and pleasure in this Himself, which made me sing even more. 


I've posted a link to the song that I was singing here. This, I believe, will be the song that I sing the entire way to South Africa, literally "filling up the skies with endless praise". 


My challenge for you... allow God to move in your heart, to return to the joy of knowing Him and having a relationship with Him, return to the child like faith that so many of us miss, return to Jesus- the One that makes everything whole, and out of this joy sing it out- at the top of your lungs, by yourself, and let the Spirit move you closer to Himself.

Father in Heaven, 

I pray for my brothers and sisters that read this.

I pray that you would draw near to them, 

that you would allow them to throw off every barrier that 

prevents them from knowing and experiencing your joy.

I pray that you will give them their own song, 

a new song that sings of your praises, 

of your love and of your unending grace.

Thank you that you specifically created each of our voices, 

and that you find pleasure in them, 

no matter how off-tone, off-pitch or off-beat they are.

Thank you that you have given life and that 

you have freely given it. 

May the songs in our hearts, that glorify and honor you,

forever be music to your ears.

May you find pleasure in hearing each one play.

In Jesus' name, Amen. 

This Week

Agenda for the week *takes deep breath*: staff meetings, skype dates, coffee dates, starting the 23rd year of my life, making some phone calls, reading a lot, watching the movie premier of a dearly loved book, oh yeah, and don't forget the fact that this time next week I will be on the complete opposite side of the world... don't know how I almost missed that one! Call me crazy, but I guess it's what I do.

Obviously, there is a lot going on.  Staff meetings, skype dates, and coffee dates have become the norm- a  huge part of my life. Staff meetings keep me in the know about what I'm held accountable for work, sometimes we get to have fun, but they are mostly boring ;) Skype dates keep me in the know with my friends and family that are across California, the US and the world. Without these times I would be clueless with how to pray for friends and keep relationships going. Coffee dates are so that I am in the know with friends that are here at home- that physically live close, because I need to know about their lives too!

(relationship saver)

My birthday isn't very exciting, in fact, I dislike it more and more each year. It reminds me that I'm getting old and maturing and having to make decisions and growing up and having to go into the real world for a real job. BUT if I can use it as an excuse for some of my most favorite people to be in the same place at the same time, then by all means let's celebrate the friends we have, the lives we've been given and the blessing that it is that the Lord has given us another year of life in Him! Can I get an Amen?

(cheesecake is actually my favorite, but I couldn't find a birthday cheesecake- do they exist?)

The Hunger Games is not to be taken lightly, but very seriously. I won't say much until after I've seen the movie, but please read the book before! You still have time and it's a quick read. More on this to come later, but nonetheless, both the trilogy and the movie will be a part of this week!

(The infamous Mockingjay pin, must-read to understand, no spoilers here, yet ;) )

Finally, probably the craziest of all these things is the reality that I will travel by plane for a total of 25 hours (not including layovers) to the beautiful, wonderful country of South Africa, live there for a whole 6 1/2 days and make the brutal 25 hour (not including layovers) trek back to the states! Yikes! While in the windy city of Port Elizabeth, I will visit with dear friends (both American and South African), initiate spiritual conversations with NMMU students, go on a safari (again?!?!) and be in the company of some of the most amazing people I know.

(hopefully we'll get some sleep, if not then I pray for a view like this one!)

Now that I've totalled the number things I have going on, I wouldn't trade one of them for anything. Wow! How blessed am I? This is unreal! Somebody please wake me from this dream! Who am I that I get to do all this with in a matter of days? There is just too much goodness for me to handle!

(It seriously is not real... going back to South Africa for the 2nd time in less than two years! Who would say no to that?) 

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the life that you've blessed me with- 

one that is full of you, your grace, your work and your amazing people. 

Thank you that I can be a part of 

your Kingdom in such amazing ways. 

Thank you that you have chosen me- 

chosen me to do great works, to become a great work, 

and to get to share that with others. 

Thank you that you have planned the days of my life, 

and that you crafted this week, specifically, to be filled with goodness. 

Thank you that I get to walk closely with my brothers and sisters, 

as we take steps of faith to trust you more and more. 

Jesus, what a life you have given! 

I pray that this week would not become about checklists, agendas, 

and duties, but it would be a week full of your love, grace and mercy, 

and that it would be pleasing, honoring and glorifying to you. 

Lord please grant me the strength and courage to live in your Spirit this week. 

Please teach me more and move me to a closer relationship with you. 

In Jesus' name, Amen. 

Dependency

A few months ago, my roommate and dear friend spoke some truth into my life by telling me how independent I was and how I tend to do things by myself, and her being the awesome roommate that she is, offered help whenever I needed it. At the time, I brushed it aside, I kind of took it as a compliment, but now I see where she was coming from and how much and how often I attempt to do things in my own strength, which (without noticing) leads to...

Hurt, pain and temptation- all forms of weakness in the world's eyes and causes us to run and hide in isolation, in shame and in guilt. Additionally, we all have our own ways of making us feel better without getting to the deeper issues. We run to food, fantasies and facades to help us in our pathetic attempt to make everything seem better. In this attempt we can look like we're wearing one of these...

Recently I read something that speaks into this very issue that we all face

"The age-old story of the Bible is that we try to meet with our own idols the needs God is supposed to meet. We depend on man-made gods instead of the one true God. Again, it is a problem of dependency. Sin is failing to depend on God and not saying yes to his grace in all its various forms. Meeting our needs our way is idolatry and never works."


Needless to say, this hits me in the heart and something that I am so guilty of, even recently. I have heard sin described in so many different ways, all across the spectrum- bad things we do, missing the mark, disobedience, selfishness, the list really goes on. But, at its very core sin is independence, a lack of dependency on the Creator of the universe, who holds all things together.

And now for the sweet, saving part...

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted [hurt and experienced pain] in every way, just as we are- yet was without sin"
Hebrews 4:15

Therefore we should look to Jesus, the high priest, who has gone through, experienced and identifies with our state of hurt, pain and temptation. Solely through his dependence on God was he capable to accomplish and suffer all that he set out to do while here on earth.

Lord Jesus,

I give all praise to you- 

the one who was able to overcome this world and live a sinless life- 

fully dependent on God. 

I confess that so many times in just one week 

I try to meet my own needs, 

without depending on you. 

Please help me to surrender my efforts to you. 

Teach me more of what it means to be dependent on you. 

Fill me with your Spirit so that I may flee from my sin of independence. 

In your name

Amen