Music. Treasure. Risk. Joy.

Music
I love country music. I'm sorry for those of you that disagree, but hear me out (and I promise this entire blog is not about country music). Country music is fun, soothing, catchy, sometimes hopeful and even tear-jerking at times. One of my favorite artists is Carrie Underwood. In the car on the way home tonight her "Wasted" song came on. Here are some of the lyrics if you don't have it memorized, or have never heard the song before:

"For one split second
She almost turned around
But that would be like pouring rain drops
Back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted"

This song conveys risk. Whatever she was running from, be it a relationship or a life of partying and drinking, it involved risk. One of the reasons I like Carrie Underwood so much, is because she takes risks. Most of you probably know that she won American Idol a while back and that is how she is so famous. I remember hearing her tell the story of how she ended up at an audition, that she drove an entire day, across a number of states, to stand for a few minutes in front of Randy, Paula and Simon to sing for them. She risked her life of comfort, of what she was used to, for something she knew was better. She risked her life of jadedness, a life that was tired and dull from working on a farm in Oklahoma, for a life full of risk of writing songs and singing and doing what she is obviously so talented at. Ironically, right after this song was over two songs came on back to back about living an easy-life, about the "Only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair", and "ain't facin' reality". Both great songs, but that of course is another blog post. Bonus points if you know the songs! :)



Treasure
Something else I love are pirates. But not just any pirates... The Pirates of the Caribbean! Love the movies. Sadly, I still need to see number 4. The first is my favorite. Not because its the original, but because they really are on a hunt for treasure, they were trying to return it of course. Remember all the gold medallions that they are searching for? Love it! Captain Barbossa and Captain Jack Sparrow (love, by the way) are on the hunt to redeem themselves from a curse, to live a life that was far better than, literally, walking zombies. I was reminded of this movie after doing a Bible study last night, crazy right? But yes, the Bible led me straight to Pirates, sort of. We were studying Mark 10: 17-22. (I suggest reading now, if you need a refresher). This man, who we later learn is young, and has many possessions, runs to Jesus and falls at His feet. Desperate much? Potentially. The man asks Jesus how to inherit eternal life. I wonder if he was thinking about all the possessions that he had and trying to figure out how he could take everything with him once he passed this life on earth. I wonder if he was thinking like King Tut, a young Egyptian ruler that was buried in several gold tombs, hoping that he could take all his wealth with him. Poor King Tut to face the reality of working so hard to gain nothing. Jesus, loving him, tells this young man to sell everything, then he will have treasure heaven. I think He was asking the man to be like the man in Matthew 13:44 who risked everything for a lot that contained treasure. I think that Jesus was asking him to literally sell everything, not because Jesus is cruel, but because He knew that there is greater life than storing up many possessions in this life. He is loving and good and caring and I think He was after the man's heart. He was after an everlasting relationship, after His beloved. I think Jesus himself is on a treasure hunt like the Pirates. Searching for his long, lost, gold medallions and returning them to where they belong. We too are on a treasure hunt, searching and hunting for something that will bring us life. Not just life now, in this very moment, but eternal, everlasting, life.



Risk. Joy.
Bringing it home now. I Googled the word 'risk' and learned that Risk is a game about conquering the world. Sounds similar to Monopoly, but I've obviously never played so correct me if I'm wrong. I also got many other definitions of risk. Some involving taking uncertain chances, negative chances, sometimes good chances. I learned about risk in investments and other boring statistics. It got me thinking to the things that we risk when we sit back and do nothing. We risk our lives in a lot of ways. We risk waking up one day and finding our lives wasted. We risk missing out on a treasure hunt that leads to eternity. We risk living a life that is lacking love, joy, patience, even pain. While that last one sounds some what appealing, how many times have you been in a situation that is painful, almost unbearable, but you cling to the hope that you will be redeemed, that the pain will eventually subside? That my friends is risk. Living life like there there is, literally, no tomorrow, despite the pain that it may cause. I must confess that I did not live that way today. I think the greatest thing I risked was a sunburn from sitting in the sun for an hour. I'm not really sure that I'm okay with living life that way. While I did enjoy myself, I think I, maybe even you too, am being called to live a life that is risky, that is uncomfortable. Where would Carrie Underwood be if she took a risk in risking nothing? Probably still farming. Where would the Pirates be if they didn't risk all they had to find their treasure. Probably getting drunk somewhere in the middle of an ocean. Where would the man that found the treasure in Matthew be had he not sold everything for that plot of land? Probably living a life full of regret. Where would we be had Jesus not risked His life for us? It's scary to imagine the possibilities on this one. I think one of the coolest things about risky living is the reward. Oh man, when you take a risk, a small chance and the return is far greater than when you first began! It makes it all worth it! When we risk our lives for the Greatest Kingdom, for our Great King, for our Bridegroom, for the Carpenter that hung on a cross for us, for Jesus, what immeasurable, unspeakable Joy.



**All the pictures by the way, are just some of the people that I treasure. Not just our relationship, but I truly treasure them as people.

Grace through Faith

As the quarter comes to an end, I felt it appropriate to write a blog and procrastinate a little on studying for finals.
Let me tell you about my friend. I will call her Faith.
I have been meeting with Faith for the past 10 weeks, every week except for 1. My discipler Shawnda and I have met with her to help answer some questions, enter into her spiritual journey and point her in the direction of truth. Meeting with Faith has been an overall fantastic experience, despite the discouragement and the frustration on occasional weeks. At first, it seemed like she understood the gospel and that all that was holding her back was her wanting control. We moved in a direction to help make this surrender easier, but found out last week, that we were essentially starting back at square one. It was difficult to have been meeting with her for so long, given her our "best" answers and her still not choose Christ over every other religion there is out there. The lowest point in all of this was almost a week ago, I had an unplanned conversation with her after one of our CRU weekly meetings and as I sat and listened for almost an hour and a half to her talk and question intellectual and spiritual topics, I realized just how lost she is.

It broke my heart to see her so unaware of the walls that she has built up around her with her own theories and philosophy about who God is, and about who we as humans are, and about concepts and ideas to explain all of it. I cried to my roommate Hannah the whole way back to my apartment. I couldn't fully understand just how lost Faith was, I could only imagine, and falling asleep that night, with tears in my eyes I prayed that God would bring her to the end of herself (a prayer that Shawnda and I have been praying for several weeks now), and that He would be the Author of her salvation and that He would open her eyes to the reality of who she is and bring her back to the Truth, bring her back to the One that cares and longs and loves her like no one else can.

Yesterday, we met as usual. Shawnda thought it was a good idea to get all of her questions out there, write them all down and then go through and determine which ones have significant value, emotional values and which ones do not. She went at it and filled a page and a half with questions that she has. We narrowed the list to 5 questions or topics of things that she wants answered. At that point, it was time for her class and that's as far as we got, but for the first time I hear her say "I don't know". It was wonderful! Not that I am rejoicing in her lost-ness, but an answered prayer from God, she is coming to the end of herself and yesterday was the first sign of that!

Before I finish though, let me share with you what God has done in me, through all of this. This has been a definite spiritual battle, and emotional battle, once I found out how fun and awesome Faith is. There have been discouragements, as I mentioned earlier, along the way, but the coolest part about all of this was hearing over and over and over and over again the Gospel and how great our God is to send His Son, Jesus, and restore relationship with us, all because of His grace. Wow! I am amazed again just to type it! Meeting with Faith, we always wanted to share the Gospel, to share the love of God with her, and I'm pretty sure we did just that every time we met, sometimes we even shared 2-3 times in one setting. But the best part of it was that I got to tell myself the same truth over and over again also! Despite the heartache for Faith, looking back at my life and placing myself in her shoes, and knowing how lost I once was, it is so beautiful to see where the Lord has brought me, all because of His grace! I am in awe!

The Lord has also showed me little bits of fruit budding in my work. Although it is hard to believe that anything is happening and the time that Shawnda and I spend with her is not wasted, the truth of it is that, if Faith saw her time fit better for something else, or if we were no help at all she wouldn't keep coming. But she has been coming- evidence that God is clearly up to something!

If you could join me in prayer, for Faith, that would be wonderful and also for Shawnda and myself that we would be humble servants to come alongside Faith and gently nudge her in the right direction. We are still planning on meeting up next quarter, for more journey-ing together.
As always, thanks for reading! :)

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared for us in advance for us to do." ~Ephesians 2:8-10

Thoughts from a Barista in Training

So many of you probably know that I have been working at a coffee shop for the last 3 and a half months! I love it. I really enjoy working with my co-workers, learning to make legit, awesome coffee and of course enjoying discounted and sometimes free coffee! A college student's dream come true? I think yes! Since the beginning of this year, I have started training as an actual barista, like how to actually make the lattes and the espresso and all the other cool drinks! It is so fun! I love it, even though I'm not the best at it!

So here are just some random thoughts... Most of my thoughts are about God and about who He is and our relationship with Him and I just think its fun that He has revealed more and more to me about this, all while learning to make a latte! So here goes:

1. The Perfect Grinder. So for those of you that don't know (or for those of you that are coffee professionals), Brewing coffee can be done in a variety of ways, there is the coffee that you brew at home, probably with a french press, or a paper filter, or a metal filter or there is coffee that you can enjoy from a coffee shop, in the form of espresso, or iced coffee, or ice bledded coffee drinks, the list goes on and on about the different forms of how you can enjoy coffee. But your enjoyment of coffee, ultimately, is not based on the sugar that you've added to it, but about the specific grind that you've used for the coffee. Take for example an espresso grind, verses a french press grind. Both are delicious and bring out different characteristics in the coffee, but if you use an espresso grind in your french press, you will most likely end up with grinds in your coffee- gross! To sum up- use the right grind of coffee for the right kind of filter. Simple right? It was funny though when I actually thought about this and how that kind of relates to us and God. God has chosen each one of us, for a specific purpose and has wonderful things planned for us- far more than we could ever imagine. But sometimes, (I am espcially guilty of this) we try to be a different grind. We want the french press grind, when really we were made for an espresso. Both forms of course are still enjoyable (for the coffee drinker and for God), but when used inappropriately the results are very disappointing! But praise God that He has a plan for us, He is the best Grinder out there and knows what He's doing. He knows what coffee is best for what type of grind and their is purpose in His shaping and molding of us!

2. Check your shots. Brewing a pot of coffee at home is pretty easy, I would say for most. And at our coffee shop we have exact grind- water porportions that we follow. When it comes to making espresso shots though, there is a form that is vital to the quality of the coffee that's brewed. There are many factors that play a part: how much coffee there is, the pressure of the coffee that has been pressed, the amount of water, the temperature and the time at which all of this occurs. While making espresso shots this last Monday, my co-worker suggested that I taste my own espresso shots. He said that just because it looked tasty, doesn't alway mean that it is the best coffee. It could have too much of a bitter taste, or too much of a watery taste, it could straight up just be bad, but what my co-worker said really hit me. It made me think of how God sees our hearts. He is not so concerned with what we do or say on the outside, but He is greatly concerned about the "flaver" of our hearts, if you will. Just because something looks good to eat, doesn't always mean that you'll enjoy the taste of it. Same with Jesus- just because we act like we follow Christ- go to Church, be a good person, etc. doesn't mean that we actually do- based on the condition of our hearts. But God can see our hearts, what motivates us, and if we are genuine or not- all by looking at our hearts. I praise Him, because on the outside I fail, a lot, but I know that He is faithful to see my heart and because of my first point, He is able to mold me and make me into the perfect grind!

3. Coffee Shop Gospel. To become a barista, you are not just thrown in the position and left to figure it out on your own. No, you are carefully trained and watched over until you are able to handle it by yourself. This probably sounds fimilar if you have ever learned to walk, ride a bike, read, drive a car, operate an attraction at Disneyland, thread a movie reel at a movie theatre, the list goes on... But my point is that you were taught how to do something, not just for your own knowledge, but you were also taught so that you could train and equip those that follow you. My professor this quarter recommended that we form study groups so that we could teach each other certain topics- if you can't teach someone about something, you probably don't know about that something very well. This third point came to me while reading the book of Acts this morning, and keeping in mind that I wanted to write this blog. If you've ever read the books of Acts, you would have noticed the number of times that it records "and their numbers increased daily", "they were being added to daily", and "many believed daily". Wow! I cannot imagine to live in such a way that the gospel was preached every day, and every day people believed. I'm not saying that, that doesn't happen today, but it probably doesn't happen as often as it should, or as often as it did in the book of Acts. But the book of Acts records the first disciples preaching, baptizing and procliamin the name of Jesus, and I wonder if they hadn't. Where would the gospel be today? It probably wouldn't. Scary, right? But the disciples were smart enough and were taught to go and teach others about Jesus. All I do is praise God that He and His story of salvation are bigger than me, failures included. I praise Him, because despite my failures and unworthiness, He still uses me in crazy ways to be a part of His Kingdom! Wow! Not only did I benefit from this story of salvation, but now I get to play a part! And what did I do to deserve this? NOTHING!


This was a lot of fun for me to write about. I hope that God is teaching you something about Himself wherever you are working or studying or playing. He's is inescapable and so I know what where you are, there He is too, and I hope that you have your eyes open to see Him and learn from Him.

Oh yeah, one last thing...

I hope there's coffee in Heaven, but if not I will be beyond satisfied with the One that created it!



Just for fun... some of the women that God uses to mold me in the perfect grind!

16 people. 1 elevator. 45 minutes

So over winter break I attended San Diego Winter Conference. It is a conference held for college students in the California, Arizona and Hawaii states. For the 4 days of the conference, we learned how we could "SHIFT" our lives to align them with God's plan, will and purpose.

I had a blast! I was able to see people from my Santa Monica Summer Project '09 (holla!) and my team from this past summer in South Africa (Team Flex!) So good for my little heart. Not only was I able to visit and hang out with them but I also spent a lot of time with people from UCI!

Winter Conference, as awesome as it is to hang out with people, is not entirely about socializing. There is an element of learning and growing and taking HUGE steps of faith and it is amazing to see the Lord bless all of the above (including the fellowship).

I really felt God calling me to "Shift" my life to His perfect plan. Not the other way around. I cannot tell you exactly how this translates to my life, but one of the speakers told us that the greatest form of praise is trusting in God. I know that God is calling me to just trust Him, in all aspects of my life, in my future, in school, in my relationships, in how I spend my time. Make sense?

Example: While at conference, after one of our campus times, a total of 17 college-educated students thought that it would be a fantastic idea to cram as many people as we could into an elevator! Did we succeed? Of course, we did. Only we didn't really succeed on the elevator moving part. Whoops! So here we are, 17 people crammed into an elevator. After calling the lovely operator, Jennifer, on the phone they manually lowered us to the first floor and then we suddenly dropped another few feet. For the next 40 minutes or so we were stuck. Luckily some of the guys were tall enough to open one of the tiles to get more air, but towards the end, we were seriously losing ventilation in that small confined space! In the midst of the chaos and the freaking out, it was fun to trust that the Lord of the Universe, the Creator of all things was crammed into that little space with us! Crazy, right? Another element of trust came in when we were praying and confessed our sin and stupidity to God about it being a good idea to try and fit all these people into one elevator. We confessed our sins, and trusted that our sin was already paid for by the One who saved us from all our sins, past, present and future. Praise Jesus!
Thankfully, the mechanic came just in time to let us out, right before we all started passing out from lack of oxygen. We climbed about 2.5 feet out of the elevator, because it wasn't level with the ground.
Praise God, that He was with us, that He forgave us, and that He kept all of us safe! What an experience! As scary as it was, I don't think that I would trade it for anything. Never have the words, "Giver of every breath I breathe" ever been so real to me! (Casting Crowns, All Because of Jesus).

So this was just an example of ways that I am trusting the Lord. In small ways. But more so, I am trusting that God is calling me to a year of full-time ministry! I am not sure when or where or what that looks like, but I know that it something that He wants me to do- to trust Him to use me for an entire year for His glory!

77,777

The odometer in a car is a silly thing. Sure it keeps track of oil changes, tire rotations and other routine maintenance of your car, but I never thought that it would make me stop and think about my life. I always like to think of where I’ll be when I hit those landmark miles… 1000, 5000, 10000, 50000 and of course 77777. It would seem ridiculous to wait for this mile, but I have been waiting since I was just past 60,000 miles!

For those of you that don't know, my car is a 2005 Scion xA. I recieved it as a birthday present 5 days before my 16th birthday. We (my car and I) have been through a lot together! I drove my car to school everyday, parked my little baby in the dirt parking lot at my high school, where it was damaged from a hit and run. Got my first speeding ticket (whoops!) almost a year to the date that I got my car. We did make some upgrades. But most importantly, my car is always there at the times when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm tired, when I'm scared, when I'm worried, when I'm nervous. But the whole point of my car reaching 77,777 miles wasn't for the fact that we've been through a lot together (well I mean we have but not the purpose of my blog), but for where my car takes me in life.

Sure my car can be seen as a physical mode of transformation from different stages in life, but when I drove my 77,777th mile I wasn't on my way to some sweet party, listening to the radio, with 4 other people, rather I was driving to a funeral, with my mom- not to say my mom isn't cool (sorry mom), but it wasn't what I expected. I actually spent most of that mile trying to capture a picture of it.

The funeral was held for my mom's best friend's dad, from grade school. It was held at a Catholic church, which was a unique experience for me, but the funeral made me stop and think "huh, I wonder what my funeral will be like, who will be there, oh. my. gosh. what will they say about me?" Kind of morbid, I know, but the last thought caught my attention for most of the service (again, whoops). This thought caught my attention, not because I had a long list of achievments that they would have to read off in my obiturary, but because what achievements or events or places traveled would be seen as worthy enough to be celebrated. Sure I was the 8th grade class president, I graduated high school and hopefully, almost college, I have traveled a few places, but when it comes down to my funeral what does that all mean. "Yeah Erin did all this for fun, and she was good at it and she will be missed" Really? Is that really what they're going to say?

I didn't know too much about Al, the man who we were all gathered to celebrate, but his daughter Michele, my mom's friend, spoke about her dad and his life, not through his achievements but through the things that he cared about most.

So as I'm about to reach an unbelievably long blog post, I will leave this. The thing I care about most. Relationships. The ones that are difficult, the ones that are fun. The ones that hurt. The ones that feel good. The ones that make me laugh until I can't breathe. The ones that make me cry. The ones with my family. The ones with my friends. The ones with co-workers. The ones with people. The one with Jesus.

I hope people look at my life and see the relationships that I made, and for the few people that attend my funeral, I hope they know that I what I care most about are about people.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34

Life In The Vine

So I'm not much of a blogger, but I try. I usually keep blogs when I'm on some awesome project or mission or when I'm doing something absolutely crazy. BUT I figured an everyday blog of Me would be appropriate. I have been back from my most recent adventure in South Africa for just over 3 months now. For the last couple weeks the weather in Southern California has been crazy! Hot one day, cold the next, it changes all the time! While everyone else complains about the weather, or at least gets irritated with the inconsistency, I cannot help but smile because it reminds me of Port Elizabeth. The City of Four Seasons. The city where the weather changes constantly, you have no choice but to layer your clothes for the day.
I smile when I experience the inconsistent weather because it takes me back to my time in South Africa. It takes me back to the people I served with, the people I met with, the craziness of witnessing how God works, but mostly it reminds me of what Joy and Peace are. Yup, the inconsistent, annoying, weather changes reminds me of joy and peace. Let me explain.
When my team was getting ready to leave, as sad as it was, I had an overwhelming sense of peace and joy. Peace that God was going to continue to work in Port Elizabeth. And Joy because our awesome God allowed me to play a massive part in furthering His Kingdom. It was my prayer upon returning to Irvine that I would continue to experience this Peace and Joy, and Praise God, He has answered my prayer. Amongst all the studying, working, facebooking, and other distractions of this world, God has sustained Peace and Joy in me, that is only found in Him- the One who came to save us from ourselves, the One who died for me, a sinner, the One who sacrificed His own life to give us ours. Isn't there enough Joy in that? Sometimes I think No, but in all honesty, Yes it is enough.
Currently my iTunes is on shuffle, and Tim Hughes song "Take the World" is playing... "You could take the world, just give me You". Beautiful. Truth-because at the end of the day that's all we have anyways, right? We could get an A+ on all our exams, $46 in tips at our part-time job, hit every green light while driving, but when it comes down to it, when we consider what really counts, all the above, seem worthless.
So when the whether is crazy, in the midst of inconsistency and frustration, in the world, I will smile and Praise God, because my Lord, my Savior, has given me Peace and Joy!
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." -Romans 15:13